Take 2!!

The other day I attempted to update my blog. After a lengthy entry, my internet crashed and remained down the rest of the day. Devil was hard at work trying to stop me from spreading the awesomeness that was in that blog. Well....I win again!! This entry will be even BETTER than the previous one that never posted!!

SO where are we now?? What has been happening for the last (almost) three months?? SOOO MUCH! Here is it in a nutshell:

We attended multiple agency orientations

We picked our adoption agency

We had our intake interview

We were told we would be a "perfect fit" for the agency

We were invited to participate in their training for foster/adoptive parents

We have attended 2 of the training sessions

WOW...I remember thinking we would never get the ball rolling. Now we are moving forward steadily. So what does that mean for our future? What is the process? Well let me show you. The following is the process for our specific agency.

1.) Request Adoption info (DONE)
2.)Attend Information Meeting (DONE)
3.) Intake Interview (DONE)
4.) Training Course (IN PROCESS)
5.) Formal Application
6.) Family Assessment Process AKA Home Study
            -this assessment has several parts to it
            A.) First Interview (DONE)
            B.) Second Interview at the house with both John and I
            C.) Third and Fourth Interviews at the agency, John and I interviewed separately
            D.) Fifth Interview at home with John and I (and the kids).
7.) Approval
Then we will work on matching and placement.

So there ya have it....where we are now and where we are headed!! Our last class will be the week of Thanksgiving. Then comes the stacks of paperwork. Luckily, my 10+ years in medical administration has fine tuned my paperwork abilities!! I love paperwork and am slightly OCD when it comes to completing it. I have been told this will help us in the Home Study process :-)

A couple closing comments...the child both John and I were interested in has been adopted!! We are so happy for Alissa and KNOW God will bring us our child when the time is right. Also, the classes we are taking have been extremely insightful in raising our bio kids! We both have already taken so much away from these classes. We have some mandatory reading to do. We have to read "The Connected Child", and we also have to read "Wounded Children, Healing Homes". They are both about how to help children who have gone through trauma of all different varieties. SO these are pretty important to read and really understand.

So there ya have it....our latest update. Please continue to pray for our journey. The Devil has already proven to us that he isn't going to let this happen without a fight. To that I say...BRING IT BAD GUY!!

Home for Christmas?

That is my dream...bring our child home for Christmas. Realistic? Not at all. So where are we in this process?? Waiting....still waiting. Placing calls to agencies. Waiting to get started. 

Last evening, John, Taylor, and I attended the Virginia Adopts Regional Kick-Off. It is a campaign from Governor Bob McDonnell here in Virginia. The goal is to match 1,000 kids with 1,000 families. It is a great cause and we were under the impression that this would be a good place to gather resources and information. While the night was enjoyable, I left with nothing more than statistics. There was no Q&A session, there were no tables with agencies waiting to answer questions. After we left, I was SO frustrated!! They talked about these kids not having families and how they were starting this campaign to give them families, but failed to mention HOW they were going to do so. Were they going to shorten the home study process, make more PRIDE training sessions? What was their plan? My frustration got the best of me and I decided to write a message to the Virginia Adopts facebook page...This was the message:

While the stories at the regional event were heart-touching, and the statistics were eye-opening, I don't feel like I left with any information about what the next step is or HOW you plan on getting these children adopted. What changes are being made? There was  no time for Q&A and at the end it was just, "If you work for an agency or dss then come stand up here." My family is wanting to add an older child to our family. We want to move forward NOW! But there was no info on how to do that and the last time I spoke to the dss they didn't know when the next PRIDE training was going to be.I was told, "maybe September/October timeframe.We will mail you something." We missed the last PRIDE training because my husband unexpectedly got sent underway. There is a child who's picture speaks to our whole family and I feel like we are spinning our wheels while she waits. I commend that the Governor has this campaign in motion. I just feel like there should be more useful information for people who KNOW they want to adopt from the foster care system and so badly want to move forward.

So there ya have it....frustrations verbalized. What happened next TRULY shocked me!! I received an email this morning from someone with the Office of the Governor! It stated that after reading my facebook post that he would like to speak to me and asked for my number and a good time to call me! I thought for sure I was in trouble!! So in response to his email I sent this

While the meeting last night was enjoyable, I left without any solid information. It was said that things were changing to help get these 1000 kids adopted. What is changing? The process? The fact that months go by between PRIDE training sessions, leaving potential parents waiting?

We would love nothing more than to bring a child HOME for Christmas. But we are realistic in our expectations while we continue to wait.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Very Respectfully,

Rochele Mickey

SOOOO about 5 minutes later, I got a call from a special assistant with the Office of the Governor. He wanted to hear my story and concerns. We spoke at length. He said he cannot promise me any miracles, but he would see if there was any way to fast-track things. He also asked for the child's information that we are interested in. 

If you pray, please pray for us. For progress for our family, for the Virginia Adopts Campaign, and for our child...wherever he or she may be. 

Oh yeah and this child that has spoken to our hearts....is a she ;-)

Until next time my friends....

Cue excited squealing! EEEEK

So what is so exciting?????? Let us rewind to yesterday...

remember my Finding God in walmart post?? Well we had our meeting yesterday!! It was a very informative meeting. We learned about public, private, domestic and international adoption. Our questions were answered. Then we were asked some questions. I left feeling pretty good.On the way home I asked John if he had any additional concerns or questions. He said no. He said he was surprised to hear that some private agencies do grants for adoptions. A couple minutes later I decided to be brave and ask the question I had been thinking since we left the adoption seminar....this is how that conversation went:

Me: "So babe, when do you think we should start looking into agencies?" (Then I held my breath for that answer...the one that goes something like "Soon, maybe 6 months....ya know when finances are better.") So this was what his response was:

John: "We can start now."

Me: "I'm sorry, what was that"? (I thought I misheard him. Surely he must have said Not right now"

 

John" "We can start looking now".

OK....YES....CUE EXCITED SQUEALING!!

So...we then followed that up with a talk about finances. Not a bad talk, but just what we want to accomplish prior to our home study. WOWZER...I actually am thinking about a home study...like is this really going to happen?? That is such an exciting, scary thing.

SO now the search is on...we have decided to go through a private agency and do a public/private adoption. What this means is the private agency works with the public agency (AKA social services) to help identify kids that match our profile. We are hoping to find an agency that does grants so that the out-of-pocket costs will be minimal. We could do public adoption and it would be free for us. However, as a family we have decided that having a foster child we fall in love with then having the possibility of them being taken away is just too much. I know it would be hell on me. Lexi attaches to people quickly so I know it would be very hard on her too. 

We are the minority right now. We are looking to adopt an older child. A child between the ages of 6-16. Yes, that is a pretty big range. God will bring us our child when the time is right. Taylor wants a.....well he just wants someone around his age that likes to play video games. Lexi wants a big sister. Katie wants a big brother (I guess one big brother to beat up on isnt enough!). God is the captain of this ship...so only He will be deciding the specifics of our next child :-)

Well off to get the girls into bed...maybe my next post will be about how we are already preparing for our new child. 

Until next time....

Finding God in Wal-Mart...

You can find pretty much ANYTHING in Wal-Mart. It is not my favorite place to go. Actually, I try to avoid it. However, my brother-in-law was in town and asked me to take him. So I loaded up the car and off we went. I did not plan on going inside, just sending my BIL in to get what he needed and home. When the girls saw we were at Wal-Mart they were begging to go inside. Anyone gone into Wal-Mart by themselves with a 2year and a 3 year old?? Not very much fun. But I decided I could pick up a couple things while I was out.

HOW IN THE WORLD DID I FIND GOD THERE??? HOW DOES THIS EVEN TIE INTO THIS ADOPTION BLOG???

While I was heading towards the milk, I spotted a gentlemen I had met before. Actually, it was his kids I spotted before I spotted him. I had met him at the Step Up for Down Syndrome awareness walk that I helped a very dear friend of mine with. I had also seen his children at a birthday party at the aforementioned friends house. He and his wife are so amazing and have done things I could never even dream of. They have made huge strides in helping children with Down Syndrome and other special needs get accepted and adopted. You can read a bit more here:

www.fathersheartorphanministry.com

Anyhow...I saw him and thought I would just say Hi in passing, ya know the wave and smile. I am not one to just go up to people and strike up conversation. I almost felt relief when somebody else walked up and started talking to him. Whew...off the hook!! So I continued on and got my milk. As I was heading back by I just felt like I HAD to stop and talk to him.  So sweaty palms and all I did. I told him I was Alanna's babysitter and that I had met him at the walk. Also, that I had met the kids at her birthday party. They brought home their youngest daughter in December so I got to meet her and we chatted for a bit. I told him adoption was something my husband and I talk about. He then invited us to an informative class he does. It covers domestic and international adoptiong. He gave me his email and told me to email him and we would set something up...within the next week or two!! I walked away, my heart was pounding and a huge smile on my face.

God is SO amazing! He placed this amazing man in Wal-Mart. He urged me to talk to him. He was there by my side pushing me towards this man, testing my ability to be obedient.

Yes God, this is YOUR path. I merely wish to travel it as your will commands me to. 

I have been sooo discontent thinking that we can't even consider moving forward until Sept/October when the next PRIDE classes are. But I feel like THIS is a step forward. Knowledge is power and hopefully after this meeting, both John and I will be much more knowledgble.

Oh yeah, this meeting...it is THIS Saturday!!!

Have we forgotten???

No...we have not forgotten our desire to adopt. It is talked about on the regular here. God has been working hard, just not how I expected(or asked) Him to!! Here is a recap of the last 8 months....

I prayed....I prayed hard. I asked friends to pray. How did that sound?? "God please change John's heart!" "God, please soften John's heart towards special needs." I prayed for John to be changed. I asked friends to do the same. Every time I would bring up adopting a child with special needs, John would shoot it down. Then I would get SOOO frustrated. How could this man that I love NOT share the same desire to help these poor children who will sit in orphanges for their entire life and die there?? HOW could he NOT go running to save them?? I prayed this for 7 months straight. Finally, one night in June, totally exasperated and frustrated, I prayed something different. "God if you won't change John's heart then why have you put adoption in mine??? Please show me, God, what am I supposed to do??" I fell asleep feeling hopeless.
I woke up the next morning and did my normal routine...coffee and facebook!! As I was scrolling there was a post on Reece's Rainbow facebook page. Reece's Rainbow is a Down Syndrome Adoption Ministry. The people on the fb page are truly God's hands and feet. This is the post I clicked on
http://jesus-loves-you.org/merediths-surprise-adoption-video/

This video had me in tears. I watched it 4 times. I had goosebumps every single time. I just watched it again and got all teary eyed. WOW what a moving video. Was this God?? Was God showing me what I was supposed to do?? I believe my first blog on here I even mentioned wanting to do older child adoption. But had only focused on young (birth-3yr olds) with special needs. Throughout the day I watched it and each time was moved by it. John got home that night and I asked him to watch it with me. We watched it together and I sobbed...like couldn't form a sentence sobbing. He looked like he got teary eyed. Through my sobbing I looked at him and said "Babe...THIS is what we are being called to do." He looked at me confused because all I had been talking about was special needs (HIV, DS). I knew, in my heart, that God had heard my prayers and answered them. He showed me. He had my full attention!

So what next???? I called the local department of social services and learned the next PRIDE class is Sept/Oct time frame. This is the class that needs to be taken to move forward in becoming Foster Family licensed. So I am excited for that. I have been on the AdoptUSkids website constantly. But what do I do until then? I have put our adoption jar on the table. This money will be used to prepare the room and get the child personal belongings when the time comes. OR if we use a private agency, it will be used to pay fees and such. But it is a constant reminder for our whole family.

Our child is out there. We are coming for him or her. We already love them in our hearts.

Until next time...which will be soon!! My next bog will be Finding God in Wal-Mart...stay tuned!!

Who is working for these children??

128...that is the number of children currently listed on the Virginia Department of Social Services available children. A sad number. They are mostly older children who have lost all hope of getting a family. Imagine being 11, the age of my eldest child, and not having a home, a family, a bed of your own. They are bounced from foster home to foster home. 128...so if 1 child a day got adopted it would take until February 24, 2013 for them all to get adopted. Just think about that for a minute. My issue with this is that I have placed multiple calls to the Adoption Resource Exchange of Virginia and submitted an inquiry on the Virginia Department of Social Services website. The first action was taken on 10/5/12 and the second on 10/12/12...and here I am with no returned calls or emails. So my question remains...WHO is working for these children. We have taken the first steps to let them know we are interested, to let them know we want to adopt domestically and from the foster care system. One would think they would have us on the phone and get the ball rolling. Yet...I wait and wait and wait. It's maddening.
SO what am I to do?? I have started to consider going through a private agency as opposed to a state run one. That means $$$. But that is worth it. I can no longer stand stagnent, waiting for someone to do their job. The intially adoption application can be from $300-$500. The home study from $1000.-$3000.
So I see some fundraisers in the very near future. I am stoked that our adoption fund is up to $112.90. This is just a jar on our table that we put spare change in. Anytime I have any $1.00 bills I put them in there. I have an amazing friend who I volunteer to watch her daughter while she does volunteer work. Now when she picks her up she puts what I would normally charge for drop  in care into the adoption fund. It is a start...

Road to where??

Ahhh...that is the question. I have been asking for a lot of prayer on facebook lately. Specifically prayer to move mountains. So what "mountains" am I speaking of?? Let me take you back to when I let God take over (extremely shortened version)
As many of you know, I was working a job for nearly a decade. One I was comfortable in but didn't much like what I was doing. I'll leave the details to a minimum. However, I was always complaining and wanting to leave. But financially it didn't seem possible and I was comfortable (even if there were days I was miserable). I prayed and prayed God would find me a new job. I prayed for Him to show me a way out of my situation. He did...He showed me how I could quit my job and stay home with my children. It scared the crap out of me because it was a HUGE leap of faith. Never before had I put all my trust in God. But I felt His call. His call to be home with my kids. It took some convincing on John's part. But I KNEW this was God's will...so I was pretty insistent. I open my in-home daycare and meet some awesome parents and children. But one is a very special little girl named Alanna. Alanna is a happy, funny almost 3 year old that steals the heart of everyone she meets. Alanna's parents are beyond amazing people too. Alanna has Down Syndrome and is from the Ukraine. She was adopted 18 months ago. Little by little, I talked to her Mom and she told me of the HORRIBLE conditions the children with special needs live in in Eastern Europe. Of course as soon as I researched and found out what it is like there I immediately wanted to go rescue them all! How can humans have such disregard for another human child? I will make a separate blog for that topic.
So I started talking to John about these poor children. His response was "that's sad but there's nothing we can do. We are NOT adopting". That wouldn't be an issue EXCEPT he has known since we were dating that I have always wanted to adopt. I have always wanted biological and adopted children. I, being who I am, kept bring it up and was met with a stern "NO"! Adoption was not in John's heart even a little bit. Even after I showed him pictures of these adorable kids.
Then I was reading about hosting a child for the holiday season from Eastern Europe. I figured, if he won't let me adopt, maybe he would at least let me show these children a better life. He wasn't sold on the idea, but I think he thought it was a nice break from the adoption talk :-) So I was looking through children who are available for hosting. There was one beautiful, seemingly intelligent young lady who was turning 16 during the hosting program. Once they are 16 they are no longer available for adoption. I showed her to John and he was like "She is up for adoption? What is wrong with her?" It was at that moment that I think God had finally reached John a teeny tiny bit. We talked about hosting and possibly adopting her...YEP ADOPTING!! John was thinking about it. That was a step in the right direction for me. PRAISE GOD!! But after speaking to some people, we found out that we didn't have enough time before her birthday to get the adoption going. So the one child John agreed to, we could not consider.
I was disappointed but I knew that God was trying to tell me something else. The same feeling I had when I felt God's call to stay home, I had at that moment. God was just using that girl to soften John's heart. She wasn't meant to be our daughter. I had looked at international and domestic adoptions. I had looked over a lot of photolisting in the past couple weeks just to look. But I felt like I HAD to go look again. Again, I think it was God calling me, so I did. I looked at over 2,000 photolistings!!
And there she was...Jasmine. Her picture made me stop and stare. My heart jumped into my throat. My first thought was, "she's the one". Jasmine...she was meant to be our daughter. Every time I blinked I saw her face. Every time I thought about her my heart beat a little quicker. Jasmine...what would John think?? SO...I printed up several bio's and asked John to pick the ones he thought would be good fits. After reading them all he handed me one...JASMINE! So...after talking about it and 1000 questions from John...we decided to move forward!!
So thank you to everyone that prayed because it helped. One of the mountains was John's heart. He has opened his heart now and that was the major mountain. He went from a stern NO IT IS NOT HAPPENING to We will need to get her a phone, and put a TV in her room, and a bed.
I have taken the first steps with phone calls and emails. But now I ask all of you to PLEASE PRAY!! Pray that we can bring Jasmine home. I would love nothing more than to have her home by Christmas but I doubt that is possible.So my next goal would be to have her home by her 13th birthday...which is in June.
As I go through the process I will blog about it. The ups and the downs. So stay tuned!!
PS...this is the longest blog I will write...promise the rest won't be SOOOO wordy!